Review of this week’s Relationship Circle (names withheld):

I love you people. All of you, ______ the superstar, Gregg the sensei, ________ with the great smile, _________ with the heart like a forest, everybody there, individually and collectively you guys are awesome. I felt this the very first time I came to this meetup, I felt deep love for all of you, and I want to thank each of you for taking the time to open up and allow people to get to know you for the two or three hours we’re at Café Asia! WE ARE FREAKING AWESOME.

Mission Accomplished, huh?

Getting related is not as simple as you might think. First of all, it’s infinite. You can be infinitely related to another human being, so there’s no end to the layers of separation that can be peeled off. And what’s the payoff of peeling off these layers? Freedom, from fear, from the endless work of protecting ourselves, the possibility of deep surrender to unity, to share ourselves fully, to be known, to feel loved.

For most of us, giving someone the experience of being related to, or instructing someone else how to give you an experience of being related to is more accessible. The instructions are easy to remember and can be somewhat challenging to execute. Listen without judgment. Be with the person, as present as possible, while letting them be exactly as they are. When you apply this generously, people transform. They calm down and feel safe enough to look at themselves, because you are no longer a threat. Your point of view and getting related rarely can coexist in the same space powerfully.

Trained coaches and some other helping professionals can pierce through a person’s protection and get related right to another person’s heart. This can be a shocking and powerful experience. It’s like emotional open heart surgery, but the possibility it creates, the opportunity available for relating beyond fear can source powerful breakthroughs. Fear is the reason we are not related and love can scare (get right to our vulnerable spot) while being more powerful than fear.

Don’t try this at home, kids, because our upset or disappointment with another, which is often the impetus for wanting to break through someone’s protection, will wind up giving them a better reason to fortify that protection.

Keep practicing relating and getting related to others. You’ll see the benefits.