Thoughts on Acceptance

Acceptance is not a tool for you to get run over again and again and to continually feel bad and suck it up. Even I got caught in that trap. Kept. Sucking.

Acceptance can make you incredibly resilient. It raises the ceiling on what can get you down, what stops you, what creates breakdowns in life. Training yourself to satisfyingly allow the emotions you consistently resist is power! Our objections with what is happening in our lives is more about not wanting to FEEL the emotions of it, not that we can’t handle the actual circumstances.

And still, after gaining some mastery with acceptance, there may be things in life you choose to change. What acceptance gives you is the ability to go about these new courses without the baggage of what’s wrong coloring your delivery and approach.

When we go about creating change and we are carrying the impact of what’s wrong along with us, the normal response from people is to push back, to get wrapped up in the emotional transfer, which then makes them feel the yuck that you are throwing at them. That leads to derailment of YOUR intentions, unless all your intention was was to piss someone else off and create distance or violence between you. Then, you will have accomplished your mission brilliantly!

To sum up, acceptance gives you a less stressful life and makes you much more effective for creating progressive results with other people.

Respect Relationships

holdinghandsMarriage and intimate relationships are extraordinarily challenging.
We are given few tools, if any.
We have few extraordinary examples of success.
We have almost no culture of feedback, evaluation and improvement like most institutions have.
We have love, we have attraction, we have expectations and we have hope and that’s about 5% of what you need to be successful.
Forgive yourself.
Forgive them.
Respect the nature of this endeavor.
You can give yourself and others the understanding that you have a lot to learn, that we’ve barely scratched the surface, whether we’ve been practicing for a year or 20.
You deserve a lot of credit for even trying.